Today in But Why?: Man Eats a Vinyl Record Because of Kendrick Lamar

RIP /u/CousinTyrone

By Jessie Peterson Apr 18, 2017
Comeback Charlie / YouTube
Comeback Charlie / YouTube

On Friday, Kendrick Lamar released DAMN., his fourth studio album. After the album’s release the internet immediately speculated that Lamer would release a second album a few days later on Sunday. Conspiracy theorists based this on the following facts: DAMN. has several references related to Christianity (including immaculate conception, prayer, and the apocalypse), Kendrick himself is “murdered” on the first track “BLOOD.,” and it was released on Good Friday (a day that marks Jesus’ crucifixion). Going by that logic, it’s easy to imagine why one would believe that Lamar would release a follow-up on Easter, a holiday that celebrates the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. 

Redditor user CousinTyrone was confident enough to post in /r/kendricklamar with a "No Bamboozle Guarantee™" that if Kendrick didn't release another album over the weekend, he’d eat a vinyl pressing of Good Kid, M.A.A.D City, Lamar’s second studio album. It didn’t happen. Here is that video.

CousinTyrone followed up after the video’s filming to point out to viewers and Redditors alike that what he had consumed wasn’t a copy of GKMC, as “every single record store was closed” on Easter Sunday.

Vinyl chloride, the chemical used to make polyvinyl chloride aka vinyl is a known carcinogen. Exposure to the compound can cause a rare form of liver cancer. Inhalation of vinyl chloride can cause "vinyl chloride illnesses” such as acroosteolysis and Raynaud's Phenomenon. While prolonged exposure to it can cause respiratory failure, focused hepatotoxicity, and central nervous system (CNS) depression. You’d have to be an idiot to consider doing this. We can only assume that CousinTryone is dead now. RIP.

Previously in But Why, a man made an all-cheddar tribute to Beyoncé he called Brie-oncé.